It
was late morning as Francois Le Quif (Jersey
City’s notorious French,
Gothic eccentric Rock ‘n’
Roll Hair Designer) made
his way to work on foot,
late as usual. He was
just a corner away from Icon
Salon and the light was
in his favor for once.
Unfortunately, their was
a light in favor on the
Street perpendicular to
him. Francois took merely
One step forward to
cross the street as a huge
White car sped inches
away from hitting him.
Francois exploded
publically in a furious,
Uncontrollable French
rage at the driver, who was
cursing at Francois at the same time.
“True de Coul!!!
(Asshole)” Francois jumped
ridiculously animated
with all his limbs flailing
violently around in the
air in “Watch where the fuck
you are going you Fis da
Pute!!! (son of a whore).
”You should be watchin’ where
you’re going
you crazy freak!” The
driver in the car screamed
back at Francois,
staring with questionable awe
at Francois make-up and
leather kilt “You
obviously don’t know
Jersey Traffic laws well
dip-shit!” The driver
leered at Francois, thinking
he’s taking advantage
of his ignorance of U.S.
laws as a foreigner.
”Casse La
Goule!!!(Shut your dog mouth)
Francois shouted
vehemently at the driver
“You are supposed to
let ze people go first who
have ze light, Salaude!! (Bastard)”
Suddenly
there came a shout from a
Third party across the
street. It was Charlie
The owner of Icon Salon
“Francois, quit
Fuckin’ around
and get in the salon! There
Is a client who’s been
waiting for you for 20
Minutes!!” Charlie
exaggerated.
The driver
smirked maliciously at Francois
But just before he
could have the last word
Francois’ quick tongue
fired with almost
Calculated timing,
casually remarking
“You are so lucky, you
piece of merde, next
time I piss in your
mothers’ asshole.
Nick da mere!!!”
Francois quickly yet casually
Walked across the
street to meet an agitated
Charlie “What a great way to start the
day
Francois…”
Charlie’s sarcasm was obvious.
“I know
right? I love zis city, no?
So full of life,
sex, drugs and assholes”
Francois waved
with a wink and blew a
Kiss at the road
raged driver just before
He and Charlie
entered the Salon.
Just as
the driver began to get out of his
Car and follow
Francois and Charlie into the
Salon, a JCPD Car
pulled over right next to the
Driver to his
surprise. The Jersey Officer
Stepped out of his
car and asked the driver
For his license
and registration.
“Look…
Officer..” The driver began with
a failed, fake polite tone before he was
interrupted by the
officer.
“Explain
it to the judge, pal” The officer
said to the driver
in a serious manner “I saw
everything from
across the street while I was
writing a ticket
for another traffic violation.
That guy you
almost hit had the light and the
Right of way. You always let people cross
first
When they have the
light. I’ll be surprised if he
Don’t sue ya, buddy. Don’t you know Jersey
City traffic laws? You bettah not let me
see
This happen again.
Have a good one, chief!”
The
officer left the aggravated speed
Demon by his car
clutching his traffic ticket
With silent rage.
Story and characters of Francois Le Quif/ Le Competitor
written and created by Jesse S. Montalto on 10/11/13
Copyright © Jesse S.
Montalto, 10/11/13
All Rights Reserved
